My life is in this brand new phase. No man, no job but lots
of plans. Between the no job and the lots of plans I took one month off and
just did absolutely nothing, nothing useful anyway. I slept 16 hours a day,
usually during the day. My nights I spent going out and meeting friends-
dancing, dinners and dress up. When I
wasn’t partying I stayed home and played with the dog, watered the plants, cooked
goodies, I then ate the goodies I was cooking. There in putting on all the
weight I had lost from the break up sadness.
For the first 10 days, I was the happiest person ever. I
totally considered why people bother to work at all. Yes, yes people work for
money, I’m not such a dreamer. I get that. But as a woman I had the choice to
find my self a rich husband and this no stress life could be mine forever- give
or take a few changes. I am not proud of this thought but every woman whether
she is willing to admit it or not has considered marrying rich to escape the
drudgery of a job; considered herself or the thought was put in her mind by a
less than scrupulous aunt.
If I “married” a rich man,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man’s wife
I wouldn't have to work hard.
I grow bored of
this stay at home life quickly and soon rubbish the idea of being a rich mans
wife. In fact I’m questioning the idea of being any mans wife? Why have I
wanted it for so long? I have never seen an old happily married couple. I don’t
think they exist. I have never managed to stay happy in a relationship for more
than two years, so what made me think I’d last the forever that marriage is
supposed to be. Was I swayed by the idea of that diamond ring, the white dress,
the big party or is it just my foolish romantic side, the optimist in me that
likes to think that I will be the exception; that I will somehow manage to beat
the odds and make a marriage work. Maybe
it’s just my competitive streak at work.
The idea that a man can rescue you is engrained into our
girl brains with all those helpless princess fairy tales we are fed as kids.
Stories where a prince has to come in and fix things that the poor princess
couldn’t fix herself. She can’t have her happy ending without a prince
charming. And we grow up into woman that believe we need a man to marry us, to
keep us from being lonely, to keep us secure. And yes a man is great. There is
no denying that a good man can make the sunshine feel warmer and your body
lighter. But my god, this no man thing has its perks to. I have this giant bed all to myself. In the
summer I take the good spot under the fan. I have more free time now than ever
before. I catch up with friends on a regular basis, I write this blog (not as
often but that’s more writers block than anything else), I instagram, I read
(more than before), I date, I garden, I clean my room and I watch movies (way
more than before). I finally learnt how to download movies myself, a task
earlier relegated to boyfriends. Let not forget how being single is great for
the wallet. No more dinner dates and movie dates three times a week that’s a
lot of money saved for the finer things in life, like shopping.
I am learning to be independent and self-sufficient and I
love it. I am discovering who I am and what I want. It’s greedy but that’s
great too. In a relationship it’s easy to forget, who you are and what you
like. You drink coffee even though you love tea and before you know it you’ve
been converted to drinking coffee and your tea tasting days are over. I rediscovered tea and its great.
BUT
Lots of rules change when you are single. And I guess its my
fault I have never been single long enough to bother with single people rules.
Rule no. 1 – As a single person you can never be wearing the
right thing. When you decide to wear a skirt a cute man will offer you a bike
ride. When you are in your sweats and sweaty like mad you will meet one of your
smug married classmates, who is impeccably put together. When you look gorgeous
you will meet no interesting men and no married classmates. Murphy’s law is
cruel to single people. It’s a fact.
Rule no. 2 - As a single person you are not allowed to talk
to men like you used to, they will think you want them or their wives will.
Suddenly you are no longer the woman, women are comfortable leaving their men
around. Because your inability to keep a man means you are going to want
theirs, obviously!! I mean why wouldn’t you want her middle-aged husband; you
have no one, so now anything will do.
Rule no. 3- There is no such thing as the perfect man. If the
conversation is great, the chemistry is lacking. The cute ones are dumb. The
smart ones are socially awkward. The charming ones smell awful. If they seem
fully perfect they are pro-Modi.
Rule no. 4 – It’s a small world after all. Everyone knows
everyone. Somewhere someplace someone you are dating knows your mother, father
or brother and by some slim chance if they have no connection to your family
they have previously been with one of your friends.
And thats the way the cookie crumbles.
