Thursday, November 21, 2013

GHOST OF BOYS PAST- THE FART THAT KILLED IT


There I was sitting in his car as he dropped me back home from a perfectly lovely dinner. He had spent the night talking about the woman he left his wife for, who in turn left him (karma is a bitch). Yes!!! I know and trouble was his name-o. And i am the trouble magnet.

As soon as we got into the car all the stories of heart breaks stop and instead we talked about us. We reminisced about the past. He remembered what I was wearing the first time we met. I finished the rest of the story. It was epic. I was in college and I was working late. Some girl (not imp) was giving me her number while she was running off into the distance, her parting note was- “call me if you need anything”. In walks the boy, coolly, a bottle of thumbs up in hand, sipping it he recites his number. He then smiled that smile that could wage wars and melt hearts. And said you should call me too, he winked,  “if you ever need anything, at all”. I was 16 and this was by far the coolest, smoothest line anyone had ever used on me. I was sold. It helped that he was simply beautiful. We shook hands exchanged smiles and  names and that was the beginning of the strangest friendship ever.

WE LAUGH. We are only half way home.

We then move onto the stories of how I played the pretend gf to protect the actual gf, a girl his parents didn’t approve of.  We talk about the film we worked on together. We talk about the time we met, a month before his wedding. We ate a meal. We laughed. He walked me home. We held hands. It was all bordering on wrong. At my door we lingered. We hugged each other tight. It was a kiss that could have happened but shouldn’t have and so it didn’t.

We laugh some more.

He says now he wanted to kiss me back then. I remind him why we didn’t. He reminds me that now we were both single. I assure him I came to that realization hours ago, but he’s in a fragile state and I just want to be his friend, as I say this I know I don’t really mean any of it.

We reach my building he gets out of the car walks me to my gate, much to my distress. I’m not sure how much self-control I can manage. We hug. I turn to leave. He asks me to stay 5 minutes. He calls me a tease.  It almost as if it was 3 years ago, except now this kiss can happen (we are both single- kinda). He holds me. We stand there looking at each other and then he leans in. I give in easily. His lips touch mine. It’s a kiss I’ve waited for, for years. And then right in the middle of it, a man asleep on the street next to us, FARTS really loud. And the kiss that took 10 years to happen, it shatters into fits of laughter. The both of us are convulsed in laughter. We laugh for a bit before we both part ways.

TO BE, or not TO BE , or just TO BE continued another evening years from now. Only time will tell.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

GHOST OF BOYS PAST

THE INTRODUCTION

It’s as if you send out a beaming signal when you’re single. From the moment I broke up, I met / bumped into/ was engaged in random FB, g-talk, or Whatsapp conversations with every ex b.f, crush or just that random interested party that had ever crossed my path before.

It’s as if they were all entering the ring for a round two. This doesn’t mean there weren’t new interested parties in the list but the old interested parties far outweighed the new one’s.

Just to explain what I mean. On the day I flew to Delhi to try and salvage my relationship with the ‘pastors son’, the day it all went to shit. On that very day I also had the fine distinction of spending the rest of the evening with my ex- bf  the ex before the ex , ‘THE EX- EX’. How does that happen- I’m not really even sure I know? But I’m sure it has something to do with that magnet for trouble thing.

But the positive of meeting an ex on the night you break up with your current b.f is this- you look at this man you once loved and you think wow I have no feelings for you what so ever. In fact you’re a little shocked at the idea that you were once madly in love with that small man (not in character but in size – I went through a small man phase for lack of actual man sized boys in college). So yeah the evening was awkward and weird but I felt hopeful that I would one day meet the ‘pastors son’ and not feel so madly in love anymore.

I have run away from the point and the point is this. The first half of my dating disasters include all the men from before who returned.  So why was the universe adding to my confused mind. Was this a sign? Did I meet the love of my life already? Did I completely miss my chance? Was this redo time?

So I feel I must offer a disclaimer: I am not blonde, and do not bear any resemblance to CAMERON DIAZ from SOMETHING ABOUT MARY. I am 26, a little chubby , pleasant to look at ( I think anyway). So yeah, I am not the hot chick guys spend years obsessing over. I am the fun girl who had lots of friends and invested large amounts of time making people laugh. So yeah that’s me CONFUSED – FUN – TROUBLE MAGNET- WITH THE LITTLE BIT OFF CENTRE MORAL COMPASS


Monday, November 18, 2013

THE DATING X- FILES


THE FIRST ACT

Confused is an understatement when used to describe me. Just about anything can send me into a tailspin of paranoia. Because I AM a complete trouble magnet, it doesn't help that my moral compass is a little bit off centre (just ever so slightly).

While writing a film script- they say that at the end of act one everything should go haywire, the protagonist should reach a point of no return. I think, I am standing at that point.

I just got out of a very long, very serious relationship. And after lots of alcohol, lots of tears I have finally decided to shelve that chapter of my life. but you know that saying about when one door closes ....

Well lets just say right now I stand in front of  many open doors and not cause I went looking but like I said earlier I am a trouble magnet and these things just happen to me. Why you ask would any sane single girl complain about options. It's simple- note para1- I am confused and my moral compass is a little off centre. It tends to complicate matters A LOT.

So maybe to offer me some clarity about the tricky and the unknown world of dating. Maybe just so I wont forget that once upon a time in my life I lived precariously.  I decided to write about my many options behind the many doors. Some days will be fun, somedays not so much.
I am calling this the dating X files, because underneath all the confusion, I am a romantic and I do believe "the truth is out there".